#4 – Happily Ever After Again ft. Sharilee Swaity

Transcript

Alisia Young
Hello everybody and welcome to teach me freedom. I am so excited to bring you today’s guest, Sharilee Swaity, she is a lady of many hats. She’s the creator of the company happily ever after. Again, she’s also the author of the book we’ll be discussing in today’s show, which is happily ever after, again, hope, healing and love for second marriages. And she’s also a relationship coach, a podcast host and a loving wife and stepmother, among many other things as well. And I just want to welcome you Sharilee and I want to give you all a context for the discussion that we’re going to be having today. I’m really excited to ask Sharilee many questions. So as some of you know, part of this podcast is about exploring different aspects of life and living a freer life. And for the questions I’m going to be asking, Sharilee, they’re coming from the angle of me being a childless woman, and who’s in the stage of dating. And part of that may include dating individuals who have possibly already explored marriage, and some individuals who may already have children, or a combination of the two. And so I’m really excited to learn more. I really enjoyed reading Sharilee’s books, I’m really excited to ask those questions. And so that’s going to be a topic along with blended families. I know we see on TV like The Brady Bunch is a family Sharilee you mentioned in the book and then Modern Family is a show that I’ve really enjoyed watching a lot of my friends have as well. So anyways, that’s kind of the context that we’re going to be coming from. And before we jump in? Sharilee, please feel free to add anything that you’d like. And then you’re welcome to kind of share with us what, what your book is about before I actually jump into asking you some questions.

Sharilee Swaity
Sure, thank you so much, Alisia, for having me on the show. Really appreciate it. It’s great to be here. I’m pleasure. I was gonna mention that actually, it’s funny how Alisia and I met was, she was my coach a few months ago. It was wonderful. And she’s helped me get to the point of having a podcast and start to really get my business going. So thank you.

Alisia Young
Oh, that’s fabulous. You’re awesome.

Sharilee Swaity
Yeah, so definitely was wonderful working with her. Yeah, so um, yeah, this book I wrote about three years ago, I guess, three and a half years ago, 2017, four years ago. And it’s written specifically for people that are in a second marriage, either for their selves, or their spouse, so maybe their partner’s been married before, or they’ve been married before, or they’re thinking about it. Or it can even be for people that are in a step family situation, they might not have actually married, but they’re in a common law relationship. So, so many of the issues are the same. Also, it would work for therapists or pastors who were, you know, talking to people in that situation as well. And we go through the steps of, first of all, why did you get married? You know, the decision to get married is quite different if you’ve been married before, because you’ve already gone through that process. So it’s usually more complicated. And then we get into healing from the past. Sometimes there’s a healing that still needs to take place. And then we get into connecting together as a couple, which is what all couples need to do. And then into the step family situation. So kind of just covers the gamut of the different issues that come up in a marriage when you’re married for the second time.

Alisia Young
Wonderful, thank you. Thank you so much for sharing this Sharilee and for sharing so much of yourself in the book. There was a lot that I learned about you, and it takes a lot of bravery to share who you are and share your experience so that others who are maybe going through a similar experience or just embarking upon new water can have something to work with. So thank you so much for sharing that.

Sharilee Swaity
Thank you for saying that. It was not an easy decision to share. But I felt, and my husband was comfortable with me sharing as well as if it did help others than it would be, you know, worth it. And we all have our stories, and you know, just being able to be open with it. A lot of times help someone else, it’s in a similar position. So definitely, time to do it. So yeah.

Alisia Young
That’s so wonderful. And so what I’ll do is I’ll jump into some questions that I have now. So one of the first things that came to mind that I really appreciated when you said forming step families, that it’s kind of like merging two businesses. And I thought that was very interesting, because I’ve heard before of, like, when people are making decisions, whether it be forming a partnership,that they say it’s like, it’s as intense or more intense than, than marriage. And so, I was interested in hearing more about how you came up with that kind of analogy for forming a step family?

Sharilee Swaity
Oh, sure. Yeah. Um, well, when you when you get married, even if they’re not in a step family, I mean, it’s two different worlds coming together, right. And we all have our background, we have our culture, our way of doing things. But when you get into the step family situation, it’s even more so because you’ve already developed a way of doing things like in a company, you have your routines, you have your power structure, you have your motto, your you know, your culture. And so you’re you’re stepping in, like if you’re married someone with kids, you’re married into their culture into their whole way of being. And when two companies merge, you have to make decisions, like, both cultures can’t completely stay. So you’re making decisions to make something new. Right? And it’s just like, I don’t know exactly where I came up with that analogy, but I’ve just, you know, heard stories of companies having to merge and there’s decisions that have to be made, right, because you have the two opposing sides trying to come together and meet. And it can be very different, right. And it’s the realities, they’re in any kind of marriage, especially in a step family, because you already have a whole family that’s already set up. And it’s been going for a while. It’s more complicated. You know, and I just thought it was a lot like two businesses coming together.

Alisia Young
That’s so interesting, I actually experienced being part of a company when they were going through a merger. So it was interesting to see them coming together. So it was interesting to witness and be a part of like some of the decisions that were being made and in preparation, but even down the line, and then looking at how the different companies, as you said, like, we have a different way of doing things beforehand. And it’s like, how do we make it work? Some people need to stay, some people need to go, some processes, you need to stay and go. And so it just it makes when you when you say it like that about a step family. It just it clicked for me. I really liked that analogy.

Sharilee Swaity
Yeah, that’s interesting. And there’s a lot of negotiations that have to take place to get there. Right. It’s not, it’s not going to happen automatically. Yeah, that’s neat that you’ve actually experienced that too. Like, I think I’ve just seen it, maybe I don’t know, I don’t know if I’ve ever gone through that myself. But I’ve just heard stories about it. And that’s sort of where I got it. Yeah, that’s neat.

Alisia Young
It is.

Sharilee Swaity
Yeah.

Alisia Young
And then something that you mentioned, which I really, really appreciate it because it’s something that I’ve been learning about relationships in general, of the importance of maintaining your own identity in marriage. And I would like to hear more about that. Why is that so important? Is it more important in any way? If it’s just step family versus just like, say it’s a person’s first marriage, for example?Or your your thoughts on that?

Sharilee Swaity
For sure. Yeah, no, I appreciate that. Um, well, I think it’s always important, you know, and to be honest, I think even since I wrote the book, I begin make that higher and importance of, you know, like, self care of just doing things that you really enjoy, right? Because it makes you happy. And then you really do have more to offer into the relationship, right, and you have a different perspective. Because if you’re always running on empty within the relationship, then it’s hard to give and you easier for resentments to build up. I think in a step family, it’s even more important. Because you’re entering into this new, like, for example, I know, you mentioned about being someone without children, and that was my situation as well. And so I’m entering in, and there’s this whole structure and family that’s already been going on. And so it’s easy to kind of get lost in that if you’re not careful. And you’re just sort of it can be very overwhelming to enter that kind of situation at first. So having something that grounds you to remind you of who you are, you know, it’s really important. Because you’re going to deal with, with situations that are difficult. And we get to kind of lose our, our energy, if we don’t have things that remind us of who we are. Yeah, it’s easy to just lose our kind of lose ourselves for a while. I think that’s all stepmoms often feel at the beginning, because it can just be depending on what’s happening, but it can be really overwhelming, you know. So it’s really important. Like I said, even the last little while I think I’ve become more aware of that self care part is more important than I even maybe emphasized in the book.

Alisia Young
Reading your experience, I felt like I could kind of imagine what life might be like, just through hearing you share your experience. So it was that message definitely came through of this is important, because you talked about some experiences that you had and what some of the consequences were. So it definitely rang true. Because you shared that in the book.

Sharilee Swaity
Right, yeah, I guess I shared how maybe I wasn’t taking that self care that I that I should have. I think it took me a while to realize how important it was. And then, you know, when I started to do more of that I think it did, it got better easier to handle some of the stuff that went on. So yeah, yeah, for sure.

Alisia Young
That’s great. That’s great to hear that things, things improved along the way as you took that time for yourself. And then another thing that was really on my mind as well, when you talked about this excitement, like being excited, but jaded. And when you when you shared this, it was something that’s kind of always come into my mind. When I first was realizing that as I’m approaching a certain age, the reality of the dating pool is such that for what I’m what I’m looking for, it’s likely that I will be with somebody who has already been married or has children, or both. And that’s something I started to worry about. I’m like that excitement versus jaded. And you talked about it like, oh, for me, if we get married, it will be my first marriage. And for them, it might be like a been there done that. If we get a house, I’m so excited…for them been there done that. If we have a child together, they’ve already done that. So it’s like this. I like how you touched on that. Because it’s like, how do you manage those emotions? Because you want the other person to be? How do we manage that?

Sharilee Swaity
Yeah, no, that’s, that’s a really good question. I love that question. And I think first of all, being aware of it. And like the fact that you, it’s interesting to hear from your point of view, that from someone that hasn’t been before, and thinking of how it might be. And I think part of that is you want to make sure that both people are ready to get married, you know, if that is kind of going on that they’re ready to feel that excitement again, with someone else, you know, and so you don’t want to get married too soon after. You know, just somebody that’s immediately out of another relationship, it’s probably, you know, might not be a great idea to get married right away until they’ve had some time to heal, you know. I think the healing process, it can help you to feel that excitement again. But if a person is still hurting from that, and really, not ready to feel excited then. But if it’s already happened too then I think you can look at it and say, “okay, that was normal, but we can heal, wherever we are.” You still have that, you know, capability to heal, and to be ready to move forward. But, it can be a sign that if somebody is feeling really jaded about things, maybe they’re not, maybe they haven’t quite healed. And it’s not necessarily they might say, well, don’t ever get married or don’t get married, but maybe do some healing first. Wherever whatever stage you’re at, but try to look at healing, I think if that’s the feeling that’s happening, but from your point of view, sorry, I’m going on.

Alisia Young
Oh, no problem, like, I enjoy both perspectives because it’s helpful to know what to look for in the other person as well.

Sharilee Swaity
Yeah, yeah. And with your feeling, I think if a person has healed, then they, you know, they feel that freshness, to do it again. But even if they’re feeling a little bit jaded, I think your understanding of that can go a long ways to, you know, to help them they need to trust again, right. So they may have to work through some of them to trust again, that could be a process to, you know, does that kind of answer what you’re asking?

Alisia Young
Yes. Yes. That’s helpful. Because, it would be one thing to just be like, Oh, just wash away that feeling. But it’s just reality. So knowing to look out for signs of healing versus not healing, and then just being understanding but self honouring at the same time is what I’m hearing.

Sharilee Swaity
Yeah, no, that’s really a good way of putting it. Yeah. And it’s not necessarily taking it personally, but allowing that allow them to feel what they’re feeling. No, but don’t be threatened by it necessarily. It’s just, it is kind of the way it is sometimes. But it doesn’t mean that they can’t feel it. They, they might be able to just move past being jaded and, and really feel excitement again. But it might be a process. Right?

Alisia Young
That makes total sense. Yeah. Wonderful. And then I also wanted to ask you about step parent stigma, because that’s actually something that I’m terrified. And it’s something that’s seen in, different shows, and you may have mentioned it in your book actually about how in these fairy tales, the stepmother is made as this evil person. I just find all this stigma around being a step parent, and then step families and you mentioned as well, like, even in church, in a community where you would hope that you’d be accepted, that there was still some healing that needed to be done there, in terms of accepting where things were at. So I was wondering, why do you think this stigma exists? And what do you think are some things that we as a society need to do to eliminate or overcome the stigma towards step families, towards step parents, towards second marriages? Sorry, that was a mouthful by the way.

Sharilee Swaity

I understand what you’re saying, no, it’s good. It’s good. That’s a good question. And the stigma, I did talk about that. And it came up a lot in a studies that I looked at when I was researching my book. There was stigma even for professionals, like, doctors or nurses, when they found out was a step family, they would find that they treated them a little bit differently. Like they did a study where they set that up, so it’s definitely a real thing. I think it’s less than it used to be, which is good. Because blended families are such a reality. So I think it’s less but I mean, it’s definitely still there. And I think a lot of it comes from people just not being real about the reality of their families and wanting to deny it. And some people don’t want to mention that they’re a blended family because it’s, you know, like they’re afraid of mentioning it themselves or really seeing themselves as any different. So sometimes people aren’t even honest about themselves. But what to do to heal – it’s a hard one to say you know. I think part of it is, a lot of stepmothers have come forward and got support for each like with each other’s lot of groups out there now more than when I started. And so stepmothers themselves, not taking that shame on that sometimes this may be put on them. But I think that one level where we can change is at the church level and I really am a big believer in having like churches helping step families. Some awareness there, some maybe step family support groups. And that’s happening at some churches, but you know, as a body, we need to be aware that, families are complicated a lot of times nowadays. I know for myself, going to church, I didn’t always feel that acceptance at the church level, and people that are in these situations really need the Lord’s love and they need understanding and love from the body. Because not all marriages work out. And there’s a lot of situations where people are in a more complicated situation. To ignore that is, like missing a big part of the body.

Alisia Young

Yeah, I agree. I agree that need for support and love. And that understanding because I feel like sometimes people think oh, it’s like, that’s not my situation. So they must have done some….not that they’re necessarily thinking that to that extent, but it’s like, what, what’s the reason for the barrier? Where’s the love? Where’s the support?

Sharilee Swaity
Yeah, it’s kind of like people think, exactly what you said is, it’s not my situation. So maybe it’s a little bit of like, just to label all those people over there. They’re different. They’re different than us. But it really could happen to any of us that were in that situation. It’s not a certain kind of people that get divorced, or certain kind of people, I think are widows. You know. There’s all of us, I think, are touched in some way by blended families at some point.

Alisia Young
Yeah, absolutely. Thank you for your your answer and for sharing that light on that, because it’s still a common issue. And then you also talked about, there’s a term I’ve never heard before, called loyalty bind. And this is the way that a child feels a conflict between their biological parent and their new step parent, they may feel that that liking or showing kindness to the step parent is in fact being disloyal to their own biological parent. It’s brought memories because I remember…so my parents are divorced. And I remember one of them was was dating and I just remember just loving people. But I also remember feeling guilty, that “Oh, but I can’t, I can’t love both.” And by doing that I’m like, hurting…And so when you talk about that, I just had all these memories fresh in from when I was younger, and didn’t know that it’s okay. You don’t have to pick sides. So I love that you shared that term. And I just wonder, how can the the step, step parent who’s stepping in…I mean, I’m curious about how all sides can be supportive. But I understand that sometimes, depending on the dynamics of the family, that sometimes one of the biological parents might not be supportive of a new relationship and can play into that bind. And so I’m wondering, what are some suggestions that you have for navigating that? I’m thinking for myself, the person who I’m with, if I end up meeting their child, and then the biological mother…and I don’t know how the dynamics are going to play out. So it’s like, how do you manage that – when you feel like you’re finally bonding with the child, but then they step away?

Sharilee Swaity
Yeah, yeah, it’s tough. That’s a good question. I think even just being aware of it is a big step. And thank you for sharing your story. Wow, that’s really interesting to hear from your point of view. You know, and you didn’t have a name for it, but it was something that you experienced. But I think being aware of it, makes it less puzzling when it happens. And I would have that with one of my stepsons that lived with us. And I would feel like I was really making strides and getting to know him and trust in every trust building. And then, you know, the next weekend, he might come back, and then it was like, he was distant again. And when I didn’t know about the loyalty binds, I would feel really so confused by it, you know? And it’s like, well, “what did I do wrong?” And it really wasn’t that I did anything wrong, but it was just that sometimes it is the other household, sort of adding to it, but sometimes it’s just within the child. You said you felt it when you were a kid, which is really interesting. So it’s being aware of it. And I think part of it is just not not getting too close to the child too soon, like letting them take the lead. And I’ve heard other people say, letting the child take the lead as to how close you get, and then letting them go, letting them kind of keep their distance to not to put the pressure on and not to take it personally. And I think another way that you can show that, you know, one thing I talked about this quite a bit is just to make sure that a talk in your household is always positive about the other household. That goes a long ways to building that trust, right with the child, that they don’t have to choose sides. That you’re going to your show support to the other household and you’re really trying not to show if there’s frustration, because sometimes it can get ugly, you know, between the two. Some relationships are totally peaceful. And that’s the ideal, right? But sometimes it’s not. But if you can just always have a positive, like, show that you’re supportive of the other parent, and also encourage your partner to be positive — and that can be hard if there’s a divorce, and if there was still hard feelings between them — But just try to really encourage your partner to always speak well of the other house. I think that that was a long ways. And being understanding what they’re going through. And even being willing to listen sometimes about their other parent…and that can be really uncomfortable with the stepmom or, you know, step parent to hear, oh, this happened with mom or, you know, this weekend. But I think you have to be willing to accept that that’s part of their life. Not make them feel like okay, I can’t talk about that. No, because that builds up the sides. Like, I can’t talk about my other mom when I’m with my stepmom you know, but just be like, yeah, okay, how was your weekend? How was your time over there? You know, be willing to hear it. That’s part of their world. I think those are some things that can help in that. It’s a dynamic that I think is just going to be there. But you can help them feel like they, the more you can help them feel like they don’t have to take sides, the better.

Alisia Young
Yeah, I love that, letting them come to you and having that kind of openness, understanding and just that respect for the other household. But like really making it something of top priority, especially because children are so like, sensitive. They pick up, on energy. And oftentimes people think that, oh, they can’t hear what we’re talking about…we can hear. Or I’m not, I’m not a child anymore. But I have memories. And like, I was able to hear a lot of things, even though they thought that I didn’t. And it’s like now I understand where they were coming from, but it’s like…maybe it could have been done differently. So this is helpful to hear. So you also discuss the importance of marriage counseling, and how that was something that was very helpful in your relationship. And it’s something that you recommend, like, even before getting married, or if couples are noticing that there’s some issues or things that need to be overcome or just need support with. Can you speak more about what it was about marriage counseling that you felt was helpful for you why it’s beneficial to explore it. I’m already pro therapy, pro counselling. But I know that there are some people who are really resistant to it. So just would like to know how it was beneficial. And your thoughts on that?

Sharilee Swaity
For sure, yeah. Yeah, I am a big believer in getting help. Right, when you’re struggling in your relationship, and whether it’s marriage relationship, like therapy, or marriage coaching or reading a book or, you know, getting a program or, for us it was marriage counseling helped us so much. I know I share I share about it in the book kind of in detail about how we were wondering if we were going to make it…if we might have to divorce or whatever. And we went for help to our neighbors, and he recommended a counselor and then we just started talking. And it was, like having someone to talk to what was happening. Because when you’re in a marriage, especially I think even in step families, you feel more of a pressure cooker, right, you can really feel it. And you don’t know where to start to fix it. So for us, having that counselor just to listen to us, that was sort of the main thing at the start is just listening to both of us. And by getting it out and talking it through, we started to see what was happening between us, right? So it’s that listening ear, it’s having another person just to give feedback. And feeling not alone. Right, because you you feel really alone, especially, you can in a step family. And sometimes counseling could be like, one of the people going in and getting help, and just being heard, right. But I, yeah, I’m just such a believer in getting help, you know, the kind of help is it might not be counseling, I think counseling worked for us. Sometimes maybe all you can afford to do is read a book on marriage, but that can be huge, right? Or sometimes there’s a lot of online programs that you can take now, you know, with online education, like sometimes it might be talking to someone on the phone, you know, if you can’t go on person, but I just encourage people to get help. You’re always better off, if you can get some help, than trying to, you know, struggle through it and feeling like it’s just not gonna, you know, wondering if you’re going to make that sort of thing? I think it’s important, you know, we, we invest in our businesses, and we invest in, like, our homes, and we invest in so much. And my husband when you talked about being resistant, right? My husband was so like, he didn’t want to go. And it’s kind of typical with with men, that usually the man is more resistant to that idea. And, you know, we were at that point where he had a friend that, because his friend recommended it. And we went to a couple to talk to them, and because he recommended that he was, you know, it’s a pride thing. You know, what people feel like, “I’m okay, why would I need that?” But I would say, even if someone’s partner is resistant to it, I would say, go yourself, just to have someone to talk to. And maybe in time, the other person might come on board. But even on yourself, you can get a lot of perspective and about what’s going on with your situation can make a difference even on your own. I think we can change a situation even despite our own behavior, the dynamic changes, so yeah.

Alisia Young
Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. I agree. And, I love how you even said, it doesn’t need to necessarily be counseling.There’s so many other resources, depending on people’s price points, or preferred way of interacting or consuming. So I really appreciate how you said that, how you mentioned that as well. It’s very encouraging. It’s so great to hear that it really helps you both to be able to work things out. It’s really wonderful and encouraging to hear that. You also discussed attachment disorders, and I love that you touched on this because I had become aware of attachment disorders, um like more so from the standpoint of being kind of anxiously attached in my previous relationships; like I’d be drawn to people who were more avoidant, and I don’t feel like I was ever really like the neutral secure person nor have ever dated somebody who’s secure. And I realized that some people who are listening might not even have heard the of the attachment disorders. So if you wouldn’t mind, can you please summarize the different styles of attachment and let us know how attachment disorders may play themselves out in marriage.

Sharilee Swaity
In my situation, like with my husband and I, it did come up with the counselor where she talked about attachment disorders with my husband moreso. He was adopted when he was really little and kind of some trauma there when he was little. And so they would call him avoidant, like he just didn’t want to be close. And with my experience, we didn’t really talk about it. But I mean, I was anxious, I was like, you know, kind of scared of someone not being close to me. So it was sort of the typical male / female that you hear about is like he would be not wanting to talk and I would be chasing him, begging him, almost forcing him to talk, let’s talk about right? I was so nervous about losing him that I would just like, kind of press in on him. And then he would just totally shut me out. And so when we got into counseling, she really got into that moreso with him, about the avoidant thing and how that was affecting him. And it gives us a lot of healing that happened. Even from his divorce. So the counsellor really helped work through some of that. And, I’m not an expert on this topic by any means. But just the things little things that I’ve read about it is that it’s pretty common, especially for the men more to be the avoidant one and the women to be more of the anxious one, right? And there’s this dance that goes on, where you’re chasing your partner to talk to you, and then they’re just shutting you off. Right? And so, healing can really help in that, because you’re looking for that love or else you decide, okay, no, I don’t want to get hurt. So people with avoidant will try to, like, basically, they don’t want to have too many emotions, right? They associate that with hurt. I’m not really an expert on it, except for what we’ve we went through ourselves.

Alisia Young
Thank you so much for sharing that. Because it’s helpful to know that when somebody goes through this experience that it is possible to overcome it, because it can be very scary. It feels very scary, if you feel like the person is going to leave. And I imagine like if this is trying again for the second time, I imagine there might be additional feelings of like potential failure or, intensified emotions on top of that. So thank you for sharing that.

Sharilee Swaity
Yeah, no, that’s a good way of putting it. No, that’s so true. I don’t know if I had necessarily attached that to like the attachment disorders myself, but you’re right, it is. Because when you’ve gone through divorce before you’ve been abandoned, right? Besides whatever things happened in your childhood, it can be kind of a complex trauma that you’ve gone through with your childhood. Plus, whatever, if it was a divorce situation that you felt hurt from, it can really magnify where it’s just hard to trust people. And we dealt with it in different ways. My husand was more on the angry side, he would just get kind of just gruff with me. But I was more like crying. So people deal with that in different ways. But, healing comes in, for sure.

Alisia Young
Absolutely, absolutely. Thank you so much. Sharilee, it’s been so wonderful to be able to talk with you about this more. And thank you for the resource that you’ve created. So that a lot of us who are looking for more information or want to share this, with other people seeking that support, or just that insight, that we have that resource we can share. And my last question for you is, what are your top three books or resources that you would recommend for individuals who are wanting to learn more about step families, or what happens when you’re joining or creating a blended family?

Sharilee Swaity
One of them that I recommend, and it’s not necessarily for step families, but it’s just marriage in general that I really enjoyed. And I found it I read this book, maybe I think three times. Once when I was married the first time, and then once when I was married the second time, but it’s called mystery of marriage. It’s by Mike Mason. And it’s just about how the things that we go through in marriage; he talks about marriage as being like the big tree in the living room that you can’t get around. We know it’s a funny image. But it’s like that, always there. And you’re kind of shocked by the fact that they’re always there. And it’s like, well, they’re still there. But I just I love that it’s a very poetic book. But I think it applies to if you’re single person or if you’re married, it’s just about marriage itself. And mystery of marriage even has a very poetic sound, but I really recommend that. The other one that that I really liked is a smart step family by Ron Deal. And he’s written a lot of books. And he’s, he’s really good. He gives you some statistics. It is written from a Christian faith based perspective. But it’s really just gives you a really good overview of what to expect in a step family, and how it takes quite a long time. It’s very research based. It’s called Smart step family. And he has a lot of other books as well. Yeah, it’s pretty good. And then this is this last one is called the single girls guide to marrying a man his kids and his ex wife. That one I read when I was dating my husband, so it’s kind of a fun. It’s very anecdotal, she just tells her story of what it was like; this whole process of going from being single to suddenly having all this stuff in your life. So I recommend that especially for somebody that is without kids, and they’re looking at marrying somebody. It’sfunny, like, it’s really cute, but it’s got some really good things that are realistic.

Alisia Young
All those sound great. Thank you for sharing, really, like excited to look into those. This was so much fun. And thank you again for creating this resource and being open to talk about it more. And please, everybody, please make sure that you check the show notes because I’m going to be including Sharilee’s contact information and details, how you can connect with her and also check out her podcast as well. And definitely looking forward to staying connected with you, Sharilee, thank you again, for such a fun conversation.

Sharilee Swaity

Okay, thank you so much for having me. It was awesome. Nice to see you again.

Alisia Young

Likewise. Absolutely. And remember everybody to honor your time and your energy. Bye, everyone. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of The Teach me freedom podcast. We hope you enjoyed it and found it beneficial. Feel free to reach out to us at Teach me freedom 20 twenty@gmail.com and if you haven’t done so yet, subscribe to the show on your favorite platform for streaming content. Feel free to comment and leave a four or five star review if you feel so inclined to connect with you next time.

Sharilee Swaity
Okay, thank you so much for having me. It was awesome. Nice to see you again.

Alisia Young

Likewise. Absolutely. And remember everybody to honor your time and your energy. Bye, everyone.


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